Sweet Smack Talk Tunes


Thursday, October 23, 2008

Thumb's Thread Thursday- Fanhood Priorities


With Scuba's post about his distaste of soccer and Chopper's post about fanhood, I have been in deep thought of my fanhood priorities.

If you are reading this post, it can only mean that you are a true sports fan, so I would like you to close your eyes and search deep within your sporting fanhood and imagine this; If all your favorite teams or athletes were in the final championship game at the same time, list in order the sport and team you would watch(in person)? Here is a list of my sporting priorities, come up with your own and send a reply.

NBA- Utah Jazz
NFL- Chicago Bears
FIFA World Cup- USA, Brasil
NCAA Football- BYU
NCAA Basketball- BYU
MLB- Boston Redsox
PGA- Tiger Woods, Boo Weekley
MLS- Real Salt Lake
UFC- Anderson "the spider" Silva, BJ Penn "the prodigy"
NHL- Pittsburg Pengiuns
ATP- Tommy Haas
WTP- Maria Sharapova, Venus Williams
Boxing- Mike Tyson
NASCAR- Dale Earnhart Jr., Tony Stewart
WSOP- Gus Hansen "the great dane"
Table Tennis- Ma Lin

If you so choose to smack talk any of my priorities, BRING THE SMACK ON.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Groundhog Day or the NBA


Call me Punxsutawney Phil but I have the urge to do a little prognosticating about a certain Jazzman who has lived up to his potential absolutely horribly. That’s right, I speak of Calvin Andre Miles Jr. aka C.J. Miles. Imagine you were a basketball player who woke up at the beginning of the season, enjoyed the learning process, and progress throughout the season and then when the season’s clock hit 6:00 a.m. you woke up to a little “Sonny and Cher” music and the season was just beginning again. The story makes for a great movie but a pretty weak basketball career. Every year it’s the excact same thing. Great promise, and potential at the beginning of the season and a huge letdown to follow. And the Jazz just signed him to 15million this year. The dude is making the same as players such as, Tyrus Thomas, Willie Green, Fabricio Oberto, Daniel Gibson, and Delonte West. You see these guys’ stat lines and you have to feel a little bit cheated.

Anyway, back to my predictions. When I peek my head out this season I see a big dark shadow looming over his career. In fact, it’s the same shadow I saw last season, and the season before. Wait a minute, have these been different seasons or have they been all the same day?

Jazz fans, if you want to know what to look forward to this year with C.J. Miles, just look at the past two years and you’ll have seen it all. Just like Groundhog Day over and over again. As I recall, the man who was living that life got so frustrated that he committed suicide several days in a row. I’m not saying we do anything drastic, I’m just saying to be ready for some frustration because it’s well on its way.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Chattin with Chops - What type of FAN are you? Are you THAT guy?

Each Sunday I, Chopper, will offer up something that has been on my mind during the week.

With the C-BAC Smack announcement going out on Tuesday, I'd like to get a taste of who is out there. As a BYU and Utah football season ticket holder, I get to see some "different" sports fans on a weekly basis. Beyond the rivalry, sports fans all around fall into certain prototypes. Here is a small list to begin with. Add to the list if you're so inclined.

#1. The Armchair Quarterback - This guy believes that if only he were out there, things would have worked out perfectly. Maybe he can't let go of his glory days in little league or high school. He thinks the coach and players are horrible and need to be fired or cut from the team.


Personal Admition - I've definatley shared these characteristics at times. When Karl missed those free throws in 98' (or was it 99?), I couldn't help but wonder if I could have sunk those babies.

#2 The Dedicated Loser - This guys's fanhood runs so deep that he's willing pay the admission price to personally watch blowout after blowout. If he wasn't personally there each game, he'd feel incredibly guilty. Besides, he wouldn't want to miss their first win in 4 years. Someday things might turnaround. His favorite post season phrase: "Next year will be much better."
Not me - I'm not wasting my hard earned money to watch my team suck it up year after year, no matter how long I've been a fan. I'll keep cheering from home, but I'm not wasting my time and money only to sit in misery for hours on end.

#3 The Stupid Sign Maker -These guys have a personal message for somebody out there. It can be directed to the opponents fans & players, TV markets, or even your own team. These folks are often considered the most passionate fans who are willing to embarrase themselves while holding up the sign. Many times, the work to prepare the sign far exceeds the actual value of showing the sign. How do I know? I'm a sign maker at times, especially at Jazz playoff games.

#4 The Fighter - This is the guy who can't control his emotions at games. Opposing hecklers get in his head to point where he just blows it and either says something he regrets or even worse gets tossed from the game for fighting. Most often they're drunk or naturally hot headed.

Personal Admition - I've never been in a real scuffle, but I've been very close to throwing fists. Both of them were at BYU v. Utah games. The first was my bro. in law's fault by talking smack after a BYU loss at Rice Stadium. Great idea!! The second was last year at BYU when a moronic Ute fan bumped me a little too hard thinking Utah had just won the game. Little did he know it was only 4th and 18.

# 5 The Bandwagoner - The guy or gale in this case immediately began liking a team because it was the best thing to do for their social life. Now granted, Jessica is rooting for her boyfriend Tony Romo, but if her next boyfriend plays for the Eagles, she'll be wearing green before you know it.

Partial Admition - I became a Red Sox fan in 04' when they came out of obscurity and finally pushed my #1 hated team ever (NY Yankees) to the side. It's a great rivalry and I love cheering against the Yankees. In that way, I'm a bandwagoner. I love Boston's tradition and the fact that they sing Neil's "Sweet Caroline" at home games. How can you beat that?


# 6 The Face/Chest Painter - These guys define ultimate manhood by proudly spelling out something stupid with their bare chests and painted faces, often in freezing tempetures. They want all the fans and TV cameras to notice how dedicated they are to their team. They too are often drunk and completely out of touch with reality.

Personal Admition - I think I tried this once at a Skyline HS football playoff game at Rice Stadium. It's too bad or maybe 'too good' that I didn't make the yearbook. Thumbs AKA Daniel Hansen did though.

Well, there is a short list of how some fans are and I admit to showing tendancies of most of them. What does your PASSION drive you to do? What do you like/dislike about other fans?