With the C-BAC Smack announcement going out on Tuesday, I'd like to get a taste of who is out there. As a BYU and Utah football season ticket holder, I get to see some "different" sports fans on a weekly basis. Beyond the rivalry, sports fans all around fall into certain prototypes. Here is a small list to begin with. Add to the list if you're so inclined.
#1. The Armchair Quarterback - This guy believes that if only he were out there, things would have worked out perfectly. Maybe he can't let go of his glory days in little league or high school. He thinks the coach and players are horrible and need to be fired or cut from the team.
Personal Admition - I've definatley shared these characteristics at times. When Karl missed those free throws in 98' (or was it 99?), I couldn't help but wonder if I could have sunk those babies.
#2 The Dedicated Loser - This guys's fanhood runs so deep that he's willing pay the admission price to personally watch blowout after blowout. If he wasn't personally there each game, he'd feel incredibly guilty. Besides, he wouldn't want to miss their first win in 4 years. Someday things might turnaround. His favorite post season phrase: "Next year will be much better."
#3 The Stupid Sign Maker -These guys have a personal message for somebody out there. It can be directed to the opponents fans & players, TV markets, or even your own team. These folks are often considered the most passionate fans who are willing to embarrase themselves while holding up the sign. Many times, the work to prepare the sign far exceeds the actual value of showing the sign. How do I know? I'm a sign maker at times, especially at Jazz playoff games.
#4 The Fighter - This is the guy who can't control his emotions at games. Opposing hecklers get in his head to point where he just blows it and either says something he regrets or even worse gets tossed from the game for fighting. Most often they're drunk or naturally hot headed.Personal Admition - I've never been in a real scuffle, but I've been very close to throwing fists. Both of them were at BYU v. Utah games. The first was my bro. in law's fault by talking smack after a BYU loss at Rice Stadium. Great idea!! The second was last year at BYU when a moronic Ute fan bumped me a little too hard thinking Utah had just won the game. Little did he know it was only 4th and 18.
# 5 The Bandwagoner - The guy or gale in this case immediately began liking a team because it was the best thing to do for their social life. Now granted, Jessica is rooting for her boyfriend Tony Romo, but if her next boyfriend plays for the Eagles, she'll be wearing green before you know it.Partial Admition - I became a Red Sox fan in 04' when they came out of obscurity and finally pushed my #1 hated team ever (NY Yankees) to the side. It's a great rivalry and I love cheering against the Yankees. In that way, I'm a bandwagoner. I love Boston's tradition and the fact that they sing Neil's "Sweet Caroline" at home games. How can you beat that?
# 6 The Face/Chest Painter - These guys define ultimate manhood by proudly spelling out something stupid with their bare chests and painted faces, often in freezing tempetures. They want all the fans and TV cameras to notice how dedicated they are to their team. They too are often drunk and completely out of touch with reality.
Personal Admition - I think I tried this once at a Skyline HS football playoff game at Rice Stadium. It's too bad or maybe 'too good' that I didn't make the yearbook. Thumbs AKA Daniel Hansen did though.
8 comments:
Enjoyed the humor in the post, however I see a problem here. You complain about the dedicated loser fan that it is a waste of time and money, and in the next breath chastise the bandwagoner. If it is bad to be one or the other what are you supposed to be? Danny has watched the Bears rise, fall, stay down, and now rising again. Wouldn't he have become the dreaded bandwagoner to leave the team in the bad years and rejoin in the good? I agree that both fans do exist but if neither is a good fan (I would rather be a dedicated loser than a bandwagoner) what is the middle ground?
Jason, you and I are almost complete opposites as fans. I am the dedicated "loser", the "stupid" sign maker, and a painter. You rip on on dedicated "losers" while snottily insisting that you won't "waste your hard earned money to watch your team suck it up year after year". First of all, if you don't support them while they are down, THEY ARE NOT YOUR TEAM. You are a bandwagoner and a fraud. You are like a 13 year old girl obsessing over bellbottoms. You love them while they are in style, but then you mock those who wear them while they aren't. Get real man. I hate fair weather fans like I hate the French. You can't experience the same kind of joy from a team's accomplishments if you abandoned them like a cheap hooker when they sucked. All those real Boston fans were so elated at their championship because they stuck with a team that had failed for so long. It's almost a punch in the gut to those real fans when bandwagoners hop on for the ride.
The most idiotic fans on this planet are those who declare that "I'm a BYU football fan and a Utah basketball fan". What a load of feces. Fair weather fans on steroids. These are the most despicable fans ever. I would rather they support the pukes in every sport.
Any mention of the Red Sox immediately demands a response; especially when someone talks "tradition". The only tradition Sox fans have is nearly one hundred years of whining because they made the stupidest move in baseball history(selling Babe Ruth). Consequently the Yankees became the most storied team in franchise sports history (not to mention the team with the most championships). There are no Boston fan, just Yankee haters.
In contrast the "Best Fans" are Cubs fans. They may lose every year, but we don't cry about it we persevere, and keep saying "maybe next year".
That's right I'm a Cubs fan by choice, and no power in the 'verse will stop that. That's not a dedicated loser. That's a dedicated fan.
I think the world of sports only has two types of fans in the eyes of ALL sports fans . . . fan of my team and the hater of my team. There are no Red Sox fans, only Yankee haters. There are no Ute fans, only BYU haters. But you can flip it and say the same thing from the perspective of your anti-fan neighbor.
However, allow me to rant a bit about BYU fans. I am a life long BYU fan and vividly remember going to some great games growing up . . . such as beating Penn State so may years ago. I remember with fondness attending football games in high school at Skyline and the passion of the students and we jumped and yelled and celebrated every moment of glory as we dominated the field of Utah High School sports and right there was Bliss Roberts. I've only attended one Utah football game in my life and it was with several of the readers/contributors of this blog and while I know that much of the fun and excitement came from being in a large group with my friends, the crowd was into the game. Imagine that, they were standing.
Fast forward to season ticket holder this season. I sit in front of a guy who prefers to sit on his can the whole game. In fact, much of my section is that way. While cheering loudly after a turnover in the second quarter of the UCLA game, anticipating an imminent score, I was tapped on the arm from behind and inconsiderately informed that I was "the only person standing." I'm sorry, did I walk in front of your TV? I thought I paid money to scream my lungs out and shove it back down ESPN's throats that BYU was the real deal (or so we thought during that game.)
That is the problem with many BYU fans. They go for tradition, not for sheer fandom. If you are a fan, you should be on your feet screaming your lungs out, not sitting behind a true fan who is cheering their team on to a huge third down defensive stop in a tight game (as was the case in the New Mexico game two weeks ago.)
My brother doesn't go to the BYU games expressly because he'd rather sit on his can and watch the game. To Mr. Lame Fan sitting behind me, I say, get off your backside or stay home.
Wow! To all so far - This is exactly what I hoped for. PASSION!!
Scott and Marci - I'm not ripping any fan prototype here, just noting that tendencies of such exist. In fact, in some way or fashion, I respect all of these protypes, even the fighter to some degree. I have ULTIMATE respect for dedicated fans of losing ball clubs. That includes you Cubbie! Good luck the next 100 years!
I like Matt grew up being a BYU fan. And I'll always be a BYU fan no matter how much they suck. I hope to always buy season tickets, but if BYU hits the toilet, I may resort to watching/cheering from home. So let me clarify, I'm not calling the fan of a losing team a loser, just the team he/she follows. My bad and sorry for the confusion.
And I agree Matt, I hate old people that complain about fans being loud. I lose my voice every game I go to. There are many things I hate about BYU fans, and I consider myself one. Frustrating.
And Scott - I agree, Bandwagoners are a slap in the face to dedicated fans. So to all the REAL Red Sox fans, my appologies. I hate your rival really really bad and enjoy following your team for my own reasons. But that brings up the question...what needs to happen in order for anyone to call themselves a fan of a team? Live in the city, grow up rooting for the team, graduate from that school? I graduated from Utah, but grew up being a BYU fan. Does that make me fake BYU fan? Go ahead Shauna tee off.... but I already disagree with you.
Chops, I agree with Scottie-Do and Johnny-Joe-Joe and after reading your outrageousness I consider myself a “fighter fan” but only on the condition that you are in the crowd. It defiantly won’t be something I’ll regret and I won’t be drunk or hot headed….Just kidding…..or am I? Watch your back, I’m feeling like some lambchops this evening.
The reason I posted about fans on opening week is simple: IT'S THE CORE OF WHY THIS BLOG EXISTS!! If we weren't FANATICS in some way, we wouldn't be blogging about sports.
The passionate FANATICS are a big reason I enjoy sports so much. It's the passion that will make this blog worth anything in the future.
Since the word "fan" doesn’t do justice to the true FANATICS out there supporting there teams, I've segregated the weak sauce from the die hards by creating 4 groups of fans.
1. The "Wanna Be" doesn't know if his team won by the end of the day, can't name more than 5 players on the team, and can't carry a basic conversation on about how the team is doing.
2. The "Honorable Mention" group stay at home or go a club to watch the game, talk smack to family and friends, and continuoulsy play the armchair quarterback role.
3. The "All American" is a season ticket holder, tailgater, field rusher, and bowl game attendee.
And Finally..
4. The "Hall of Famer" is the TRUE FANATIC. He/She is passionately most of the following; the sign maker, the face painter, the heckler, the season ticket holder who attends all games even though his team sucks, the official team jersey wearer, the goal post downer, the complainer about every call that doesn't go their way, the guy who sleeps on the street while in line for tickets, the smack talker on the radio, the costume wearer (that includes the Ute Pirate and the BYU minor/mechanic/who the crap knows, and last but certainly not lease, the guy who stands and yells all game long.
I passionately share many of the prototypes of 2, 3 and 4 depending on the team. I can't afford Jazz season tickets, but splurge on playoff tickets. And I make sure the refs hear my heckle, all the way from the upper bowl. I can heckle much better at Bees games though.
First of all Chopper my name is spelled with a W.
Secondly, if you were a real BYU fan you wouldn't even want to look in the direction of Utah, let alone attend school there and graduate from there too. and don't even get me started on why in the world you would by season tickets to Utah. Whenever I drive by Provo on the freeway I get this feeling of disgust and want to throw up all over the school. Since I am a really Utah fan there is no way that I would want to go to BYU's stadium and listen to all those zoobies worship Max Hall. So why do you enjoy going to Utah and listening to all the fans cheer for your rivals team?
As for those who say I am a Utah fan unless they are playing BYU, or say I like it when Utah wins it's good for the conference. As much as I agree that the more teams in our conference that win against big teams is great for the conference, there's about a snowball's chance in H--- that I would want BYU to do better then Utah. All I'm saying is that people need to pick a side and get off the fence on Gray street.
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